WHY?? WHY DID HE DO THIS?



ODE TO THE GUNFIGHTER

This is a bitter satire I wrote after a professor praised the novel I wrote but condemned it for not being a specific genre. "Fine!" I thought, "I'll write a Western!" I had always been bothered by the hero worship aspect of gunslingers and this is what came out. In this poem, I wanted to lay bare the true nature of hero worship. Everybody thinks they are getting away with something but it doesn't matter how well you have other people convinced of your success, you ultimately have to answer for yourself.


CONSPIRACY OF SILENCE

People speak of wholesomeness - and what a good feeling it is. But wholesomeness is destroyed by silence. We fly apart when we have to keep things inside. But the illusion is this: A man blows up a building and we say, "Look at the evil in him he let out," but we should say, "Look at the love he is keeping inside." We don't speak of love in a crisis situation. We stay silent - and explode.


INSANE SANITY

Vincent's gift was to see truth clearly - how he dealt with it is another matter. This made him an outcast. But society now is no more sane than back then. Flip on a TV, look at a billboard, listen to conversations - insanity is everywhere. Outrageous and outlandish remarks are a din to our ears. And the din just keeps getting louder and louder to the point where we begin to accept it as "normal". In other words, if everyone is so goddam right, why do we hear so much unhappiness?


EMPTY HOUSE

Vincent once wrote to his brother he would rather lie to himself than feel alone. This poem describes what happens when the lie is ripped away. It is a harrowing look at the true state of his life. But it was Vincent always returning home that made him a great artist. It was the emptiness he found there that killed him.


RAIN DROP

God does not create evil. We are not born evil, destined to be evil or doomed in any way. We like to become faithless (conservative) and speak self-serving lies that say our nature is evil. This is wearisome to God and sows the seeds of our own destruction.


DECAY

What's religion got to do with God?


THE PRECARIOUS POSITION OF DIRTY HAMBONE McGEE

Hambone speaks to the love each of us does not share (sensing a theme here?). This character does it to such a degree that it is obvious to everyone, therefore making him a target. Yet he clings to the truth of love though he has not faced the truth he must share it. An untenable position indeed.


THE FRAUD IS DEAD

It's such a drag living a lie. Thank God when it's over.


THE DAILY REGRET

Vincent really did make the paper when he cut off his ear. This was an obvious cry for help. So I framed his craziness with all the other craziness in the world to put it in perspective. The story about the killer comes from a nineteenth century man who killed his family and himself. Before he died he wrote, "Criminals are made, not born". The President Igor story is from the perspective of my novel.


THE DITCH

People talk of a "Blame the victim" mentality but few realize what it means. We like to bless ourselves and say that for the most part we are a good and decent people. But this is a dog-eat-dog every-man-for-himself society. We want to make caring impractical so we'll have a built in excuse. Many put out sick propaganda that says the needy are the enemy of our society's survivial - but those who say that speak only of themselves.


THE ROAD WORRIERS

This was a dream I had. People are dying to express their true feelings, but instead it comes out (as all things must come out somehow) in the form of terrorism. It's not all in exploding buildings or hijackings - it's in everyday life, people being attacked for being honest. I've done it myself. Someone lets his guard down and I pop him one. It's everywhere.


VINCENT'S MESSAGES OF MISOGYNY

Vincent's failures on a personal level were not because of his genius or because he was an instinctive threat to the worlds of liars. He failed for the same reasons any of us fail. As a child, John Lennon felt himself a freak. He would lash out at cripples or anyone else who was vulnerable. But he decided to deal with this through love instead of "insanity and V.D. like Van Gogh or Gauguin." Vincent was a dear soul, but he had let himself down.

He's not the only one.





The birds you have to figure out yourself